I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
only if we run a train.
done.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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