Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
