Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
