Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sorry about my life...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize