matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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