i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
