hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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