Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
