That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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