no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
