I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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