I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am one with the molecules
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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