if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
