How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
