It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
