i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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