someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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