The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
