So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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