So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
