If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
