let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
