Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
