At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
