I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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