he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
