I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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