i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
