it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
