shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
