JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
