You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
