I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Holy shit dude........stairs
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
