I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
