Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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