Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
