thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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