hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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