Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
nutella sex= disaster
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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