Screwed.edu
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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