hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
