He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
