he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize