Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
