You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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