oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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