its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
