yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
