I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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