I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
