so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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