that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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