I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
