Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
