so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
