i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sober January is a disaster.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
