well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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