i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
