My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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