spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
