i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
