4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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