S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
