I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
