He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
