you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
how drunk are you?
Several
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
