I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
