Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
