my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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