I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
