They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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