It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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