the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
