yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
