I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize