I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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