She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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