he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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