Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
