There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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