god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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